Information on Family-arranged burials
Most people who want to arrange a funeral without using a funeral director have firm ideas of what they want to do and how they want to do it. However, others will be starting from scratch and this is more difficult but not impossible. The following sources of help and information will probably help you plan the funeral. We also give short term alternatives.
Sources of Information
The Natural Death Handbook - A Manual for Improving the Quality of Living and Dying edited by Nicholas Albery, Gil Elliot and Joseph Elliot of the Natural Death Centre from the following address.
12 Blackstock Mews, Blackstock Road, London N4 2BT
Phone: 020 7359 8391
Fax: 020 7354 3831
Leaflet D49 - What to do after a death published by the Department of Social Security and available from Social Security offices, Citizens' Advice Bureaus or the Leaflets Unit, PO Box 21, Stanmore, Middlesex HA7 1AY
Making the funeral arrangements after the death has happened
After the death has happened, you need to register it with the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages for the area where the death happened. The procedure is explained in detail in the Social Security Leaflet D49 - What to do after a death. The Registrar of Births and Deaths will give you a Certificate for Disposal (known as the green certificate because of its colour). This certificate confirms that the death has been properly registered and the funeral can go ahead.
If a Coroner is involved, the Coroner will issue the Certificate for Disposal.
After you have registered the death, you can book the date and time of the funeral with the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office:
Cemeteries and Crematorium Office
South Essex Crematorium
Ockendon Road
Upminster
RM14 2UY
Phone: 01708 434433
Fax: 01708 434422
e-mail: cemeteries@havering.gov.uk
Care for the Deceased
Storing the body between the death taking place and the funeral is the responsibility of the person taking charge of the funeral. The Natural Death Handbook includes details of funeral directors who are prepared to provide a storage-only or storage-and-embalming service for families who want to arrange their own funerals.
Burials
You are welcome to look at copies of these publications which we have in the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office.
The London Borough of Havering manages four cemeteries.
- Upminster Cemetery, Ockendon Road, Upminster
- Romford Cemetery, Crow Lane, Romford
- Hornchurch Cemetery, Upminster Road, Hornchurch
- Rainham Cemetery, Upminster Road North, Rainham
If the burial is to be in an existing grave, you will need to tell us the name of the last person buried in the grave and an approximate year of death.
We will tell you the grave number and who is the registered grave owner. You must get the written permission of the grave owner before the burial can take place. If the burial is of the grave owner, you do not need to get permission to open the grave. We will tell you if there is a memorial on the grave which has to be removed so the grave can be opened. You will need to get a monumental mason to remove the memorial at least two working days before the funeral to allow time for us to dig and check the grave. You must arrange and pay for this, and arrange and pay to replace the memorial after the funeral has taken place. You can get a list of local monumental masons from the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office.
You need to get a Notice of Interment form from the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office. You must fill it in and return it at least two working days before the day of the funeral. You must also send us the Certificate of Disposal (from the Registrar of Births and Deaths or the Coroner).
It is important that you give the size of the coffin on the Notice of Interment form so that we can dig a grave of the right size.
Chapel or graveside service
The word "service" has a very wide meaning. You can use the chapels at each of our cemeteries before the burial simply as a meeting place or for a full religious service of any denomination. You can get full details from the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office.
Alternatively, a funeral can go straight to the graveside and the service take place around the grave.
Attendance at the graveside
Cemeteries are peaceful places. We will ask anyone acting unreasonably or causing damage to property to leave the cemetery and may take legal action against them.
If you have any unusual requests, you should make these to the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office when you book the funeral. Please provide written details on the Notice of Interment form or by attaching another sheet. We meet most requests without any problem as long as they are not likely to cause inconvenience or distress to other cemetery users or damage to property.
Backfilling the grave
You are welcome to backfill the grave after the burial if you want, as long as you have made arrangements for this at the time of the booking or asked for this on the Notice of Interment form. However, the mourners will have to leave the graveside so the cemeteries staff can remove the lowering tapes, matting and shoring (this normally takes about 15 minutes depending on the depth of the grave). For safety reasons, only two people can backfill the grave at any time.
Coffins, transportation and bearers
We cannot accept bodies which are not in coffins or proper burial shrouds as experience has shown that this can be distressing for other cemetery users.
Many people prefer biodegradable coffins, without plastic or brass fittings, made from timber produced from managed forests rather than from tropical hardwoods such as mahogany.
You can use homemade wooden or strong cardboard coffins (supported on pine and ply) as long as they are to an approved design or standard. Burial shrouds are also allowed.
All coffins must be sealed before entering the cemetery and must have the minimum legal identification of full name and date of death on the coffin lid. These must correspond with the paperwork provided.
You should arrange for the body to arrive at the cemetery in a suitably-sized vehicle. If you are unsure whether a vehicle is suitable, please check with the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office.
You must have at least four bearers to carry a coffin from the roadway to the graveside and to lower the coffin into the grave. A member of the Cemeteries and Crematorium service will be at every funeral and can advise on the best way of carrying, handling and lowering the coffin. Due to the strength and balance needed to carry and lower a coffin, very young or elderly people do not make suitable bearers.
The Cemeteries and Crematorium staff are not allowed act as bearers.
Non-Christian and Minority Group Funerals
A brief word on the practices of other faiths is included below;
Muslims
Most Muslim communities appoint one person who is responsible for making funeral arrangements. It will be their job to advise of the rules and to select a suitable funeral director.
Hindus
Hindus are always cremated, and never buried. There are many possible variations of rites which depend on their form of Hinduism. The Asian Funeral Service can give advice on and arrange Hindu Funerals. They can be contacted on 020 8909 3737 or by email: asianfuneralservice@btinternet.com
Jews
Jewish funerals are usually arranged by a dedicated Jewish Funeral Agency, or the local community may have a contract with a Gentile funeral service, which will be carried out under strict rabbinical control.
The Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service offers support and can be contacted on 020 8349 0839.
After the funeral
Flowers and Wreaths
You are welcome to remove any of the floral tributes from the graveside after the funeral has taken place. Please let a member of the staff know if you want to do this so we can tell other people visiting the grave.
We will remove any other tributes when they have faded. This is usually 10 days after the funeral.
Support for bereaved families
The Cemeteries office has a list of support organisations with details of local branches where these apply.
Memorials
You do not have to place a memorial on a grave. For more information of the type and sizes of memorials allowed in the borough's cemeteries, please see our Cemetery Regulations or the leaflet "Information and guidelines on memorials".
Burials
Information on Family-arranged burials
Most people who want to arrange a funeral without using a funeral director have firm ideas of what they want to do and how they want to do it. However, others will be starting from scratch and this is more difficult but not impossible. The following sources of help and information will probably help you plan the funeral. We also give short term alternatives.
Sources of Information
The Natural Death Handbook - A Manual for Improving the Quality of Living and Dying edited by Nicholas Albery, Gil Elliot and Joseph Elliot of the Natural Death Centre from the following address.
12 Blackstock Mews, Blackstock Road, London N4 2BT
Phone: 020 7359 8391
Fax: 020 7354 3831
Leaflet D49 - What to do after a death published by the Department of Social Security and available from Social Security offices, Citizens' Advice Bureaus or the Leaflets Unit, PO Box 21, Stanmore, Middlesex HA7 1AY
Making the funeral arrangements after the death has happened
After the death has happened, you need to register it with the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages for the area where the death happened. The procedure is explained in detail in the Social Security Leaflet D49 - What to do after a death. The Registrar of Births and Deaths will give you a Certificate for Disposal (known as the green certificate because of its colour). This certificate confirms that the death has been properly registered and the funeral can go ahead.
If a Coroner is involved, the Coroner will issue the Certificate for Disposal.
After you have registered the death, you can book the date and time of the funeral with the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office:
Cemeteries and Crematorium Office
South Essex Crematorium
Ockendon Road
Upminster
RM14 2UY
Phone: 01708 434433
Fax: 01708 434422
e-mail: cemeteries@havering.gov.uk
Care for the Deceased
Storing the body between the death taking place and the funeral is the responsibility of the person taking charge of the funeral. The Natural Death Handbook includes details of funeral directors who are prepared to provide a storage-only or storage-and-embalming service for families who want to arrange their own funerals.
Burials
You are welcome to look at copies of these publications which we have in the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office.
The London Borough of Havering manages four cemeteries.
- Upminster Cemetery, Ockendon Road, Upminster
- Romford Cemetery, Crow Lane, Romford
- Hornchurch Cemetery, Upminster Road, Hornchurch
- Rainham Cemetery, Upminster Road North, Rainham
If the burial is to be in an existing grave, you will need to tell us the name of the last person buried in the grave and an approximate year of death.
We will tell you the grave number and who is the registered grave owner. You must get the written permission of the grave owner before the burial can take place. If the burial is of the grave owner, you do not need to get permission to open the grave. We will tell you if there is a memorial on the grave which has to be removed so the grave can be opened. You will need to get a monumental mason to remove the memorial at least two working days before the funeral to allow time for us to dig and check the grave. You must arrange and pay for this, and arrange and pay to replace the memorial after the funeral has taken place. You can get a list of local monumental masons from the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office.
You need to get a Notice of Interment form from the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office. You must fill it in and return it at least two working days before the day of the funeral. You must also send us the Certificate of Disposal (from the Registrar of Births and Deaths or the Coroner).
It is important that you give the size of the coffin on the Notice of Interment form so that we can dig a grave of the right size.
Chapel or graveside service
The word "service" has a very wide meaning. You can use the chapels at each of our cemeteries before the burial simply as a meeting place or for a full religious service of any denomination. You can get full details from the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office.
Alternatively, a funeral can go straight to the graveside and the service take place around the grave.
Attendance at the graveside
Cemeteries are peaceful places. We will ask anyone acting unreasonably or causing damage to property to leave the cemetery and may take legal action against them.
If you have any unusual requests, you should make these to the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office when you book the funeral. Please provide written details on the Notice of Interment form or by attaching another sheet. We meet most requests without any problem as long as they are not likely to cause inconvenience or distress to other cemetery users or damage to property.
Backfilling the grave
You are welcome to backfill the grave after the burial if you want, as long as you have made arrangements for this at the time of the booking or asked for this on the Notice of Interment form. However, the mourners will have to leave the graveside so the cemeteries staff can remove the lowering tapes, matting and shoring (this normally takes about 15 minutes depending on the depth of the grave). For safety reasons, only two people can backfill the grave at any time.
Coffins, transportation and bearers
We cannot accept bodies which are not in coffins or proper burial shrouds as experience has shown that this can be distressing for other cemetery users.
Many people prefer biodegradable coffins, without plastic or brass fittings, made from timber produced from managed forests rather than from tropical hardwoods such as mahogany.
You can use homemade wooden or strong cardboard coffins (supported on pine and ply) as long as they are to an approved design or standard. Burial shrouds are also allowed.
All coffins must be sealed before entering the cemetery and must have the minimum legal identification of full name and date of death on the coffin lid. These must correspond with the paperwork provided.
You should arrange for the body to arrive at the cemetery in a suitably-sized vehicle. If you are unsure whether a vehicle is suitable, please check with the Cemeteries and Crematorium Office.
You must have at least four bearers to carry a coffin from the roadway to the graveside and to lower the coffin into the grave. A member of the Cemeteries and Crematorium service will be at every funeral and can advise on the best way of carrying, handling and lowering the coffin. Due to the strength and balance needed to carry and lower a coffin, very young or elderly people do not make suitable bearers.
The Cemeteries and Crematorium staff are not allowed act as bearers.
Non-Christian and Minority Group Funerals
A brief word on the practices of other faiths is included below;
Muslims
Most Muslim communities appoint one person who is responsible for making funeral arrangements. It will be their job to advise of the rules and to select a suitable funeral director.
Hindus
Hindus are always cremated, and never buried. There are many possible variations of rites which depend on their form of Hinduism. The Asian Funeral Service can give advice on and arrange Hindu Funerals. They can be contacted on 020 8909 3737 or by email: asianfuneralservice@btinternet.com
Jews
Jewish funerals are usually arranged by a dedicated Jewish Funeral Agency, or the local community may have a contract with a Gentile funeral service, which will be carried out under strict rabbinical control.
The Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service offers support and can be contacted on 020 8349 0839.
After the funeral
Flowers and Wreaths
You are welcome to remove any of the floral tributes from the graveside after the funeral has taken place. Please let a member of the staff know if you want to do this so we can tell other people visiting the grave.
We will remove any other tributes when they have faded. This is usually 10 days after the funeral.
Support for bereaved families
The Cemeteries office has a list of support organisations with details of local branches where these apply.
Memorials
You do not have to place a memorial on a grave. For more information of the type and sizes of memorials allowed in the borough's cemeteries, please see our Cemetery Regulations or the leaflet "Information and guidelines on memorials".
Burials in private land
Much of the interest in alternative burials has come from the work of the Natural Death Centre - a charity formed to support a more informal approach to funerals. They have produced The Natural Death Handbook and other publications that explain how to arrange these burials within the law and planning rules. We have included contact details for the Natural Death Centre at the end of this leaflet.
Although it is perfectly legal to bury someone in a garden or on other private land, there are several important things to consider.
If you are considering burying in private land
- If you do not own the land you must get the landowner's permission.
- All of the burial must be at least 3 feet (0.91 metres) beneath the surface.
- You must dig the grave safely. This will probably involve supporting the sides as you dig.
- You should contact the Environment Agency to be sure that you will not pollute a watercourse. Generally you will not be allowed to bury in: 1. waterlogged ground, 2. within 10 metres of a drain, ditch or watercourse, 3. within 50 metres of a borehole or well.
- You must be careful to avoid gas, water or electrical services.
- You should tell the Environmental Health section of your local authority.
- You will need a certificate for burial from a Coroner or Registrar. You should fill in the tear-off section and return it.
- You must keep a record of any burials, and a plan to show where the graves are.
- You should tell the police.
- You should check that there is no covenant on the land which would prevent a burial.
- You may have to take extra precautions if the death involved infectious disease.
- A memorial may need planning permission.
- The body cannot be moved in future without a Home Office licence.
- Not all funeral directors will help with this kind of funeral. You can, of course, do the funeral without a funeral director.
Burial in a garden
- You may upset your neighbours. Although there are no laws against burials in gardens, it may damage your relationship with your neighbours.
- You will reduce the value of your property. Many people will not buy a house with a burial in the garden.
- It may be possible for a buyer to have the body removed and reburied in a cemetery.
- If the house and garden are sold, you or your family will have no right to visit the grave.
- If there are more than one or two burials you may need "change of use" permission. The next section explains this in more detail.
Burial on farmland or open land
Farmland or open land is not usually overlooked, and so burials will not offend neighbours or the public.
A limited number of burials over a period of time may not make a "change of use" and so you would not need planning approval. Information from the Natural Death Centre says:
"Recent local authority Certificates of Lawfulness have decided that planning permission is not required for the non-commercial burial on private land of a limited number of family, friends or those living in the house. These decisions have not been tested in the courts. The Department of Environment are more cautious, and accept merely that planning permission is not required for the burial of one or two persons in back gardens."
If you have more than a "limited" number of burials you may require planning approval for use as a cemetery or for "mixed use" if farming is also to continue.
The Natural Death Handbook is available from:
The Natural Death Centre
6 Blackstock Mews
Blackstock Road
London N4 2BT
Phone 020 7359 8391
Fax 020 7354 3831