An adoption story

We had always wanted to start a family and after several years of unsuccessful fertility treatment we decided that adoption would be the next step for us to become parents. My partner and I are both black British and after reviewing numerous agencies we realised that Havering Adoption Agency could hopefully be the best agency for us.

We believed like many others that all we wanted was a healthy baby. We quickly learnt that this is not a reality. Through the initial stages of the adoption process I learnt that many adopted children still have family members or siblings who they will remain in contact with. You quickly learn that adoption is not about us, but what is best for the child.

Some of the stages of the adoption process can seem long and waiting for a placement will not be instant, but as soon as I saw a profile of our son who was aged 4, we knew we could give him the stability he needed. Our son has various medical uncertainties but we deal with that as a family.

Our son has been living with us for two years and continues to be an inspiration; he has taught us so much. I am proud of how he has overcome his speech delay and it has been great to see improvements in his confidence when he meets new people.

Life is more hectic now and at times you feel rushed, but that is no different from any other family with young children. My extended family and friends have welcomed our adopted son into the family, and join us for family celebrations.

Our son came from a large birth family and he has continued contact with his 3 brothers and 1 sister. He also has annual letterbox contact with his birth mother, and he loves to visit his previous foster family. This will help with his sense of identity and it has helped to extend our support network. My husband and I benefited so much from having contact with our son’s foster family; they gave us advice and guidance during the introduction period.

My advice is that the adoption process is thorough; you have to be prepared to look at your past and discuss issues honestly.

Our adoption journey has taught us to understand that my child and any child looking for a family, comes with a history which needs to be respected and embraced.

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